Yes, there's always a need for more phonetic alphabet practice. Today, the lesson was necessary because of this: when leaving a country, try not to leave your immigration card 20 miles from the airport, after a 45 minute bus ride. It cost me 400 pesos ($40) to get a replacement. Thought I had all I needed in my passport, and I never considered that all those papers I got in Ensenada weren't just for the boat. One of them was for me, of course. Ugh. So anyway, all squared away. It's funny when the three people leading up to the immigration officer aren't sure whether or not they'll let me pay the fine. "Well, they might let you pay a fine," said the Delta lady, the friend of the Immigration window attendant, and the Immigration window attendant as she called for the official Immigration lady. But my broken but relatively efficient Spanish (or my earnest attempt at it) saved me, I think. Why don't more Americans down here have a clue about how to speak Spanish, or even try? Seems weird, but I'm sure many people never leave the resort or the standard tourist places.
So I had a dream last night that may just lead to a revolution in ab workouts worthy of the cover of Men's Health Magazine (like every other cover of Men's Health Magazine). I can't take all the credit. Sure, it was my dream, but in my dream the credit goes to my friend, Jay Pachl, Krav-Maga Master and the most cut and fit person I know. So, I see him walking along, all hunched over, shuffling his feet. I ask him if he's okay, and he looks surprised, like he didn't know he could have looked not okay. He says, "Oh, yeah. That's just my new abs workout: the Walk Like an Old Chinese Man Abs Workout." The idea is you bend forward, slouched over, and shuffle your feet or sort of walking on your heels or something, and everywhere you go you're keeping your abs flexed, leading to tremendous tone and a washboard belly. It's a permacrunch. I haven't checked yet, but I believe walklikeanoldchinesemanabs.com is probably available. You watch, reader, you'll find yourself sometime in the next two days walking like an old Chinese man and flexing your abs, and considering it as a valid Men's Health Magazine cover story.Oh yeah, I also got nailed by a bird this morning wearing my favorite shirt, a sky blue, lightweight cotton Banana Republic dress shirt with cool but very faint paisleys in it. I was walking to the bus stop to go to the airport (where I sit now), and this flock of gulls was active overhead. I actually heard at least two misses, and heard the one that hit me (hit my laptop backpack left shoulder strap) but when I checked everything out I guess I didn't see the hit. That's what makes it even worse... it happend just outside of the marina, but I thought the bird missed, so I didn't worry about it. And so for the next 15 minutes as I was waiting for the bus, adjusting the backpack on my shoulder, I was rubbing it in and spreading it around. And it wasn't white; it was brown. Finally, on the bus, I'm like... "what's that smell?" Turns out despite my efforts to shower and look nice (as I like to do on a plane), I was the dirtiest and smelliest person on that bus. That bird (a gull-sorta-thing) had had nothing but dead fish and other rotting crap to eat for... its life. And he let me have it. I just hope I can save my shirt when I get to PC. The washroom laundering I performed with questionable Mexican airport bathroom water and hand soap didn't do the greatest job.TT
